First off, We’ve all had a worst experience,one way or another.As we navigate through our everyday living there are things that make our hearts drop alittle and sometime we forget them,other times it takes us way longer than it should and takes up way more of our energies than it deserves.

So,let’s talk about it.What’s a worst experience?It may be an occurrence,something someone said to you, something you’ve gone through,losing you job,losing a loved one.For instance,John was recently fired from his job and it has really taken a toll on him or something like K’s experience.K has been in a long term relationship with his girl,all along he has been taken for a fool without his knowledge,He has given his all but all along G has been fooling him.When K finds out,his life comes to a standstill.He can’t fathom how he failed to notice the signs.He feels so betrayed or something like Ann’s story.Ann was raised in an abusive family.Ann cannot seem to understand why she deserved this.The experiences go on and on.You know of yours and it would be best if you deal with it sooner.

So,how do we overcome these worst experiences?How do we just get over it?as our friends and relatives often tell us.Well,it ain’t easy,it never is.But we’ve got to;for our own healing and growth and for us to not unleash the pain we’ve obtained from it on and to everyone we meet.

Step One,is acceptance.You’ve got to accept that the experience happened to you,for whatever reason,it just did.You don’t have to go way over your head trying to understand why it happened to you.It just did and you’ve got to accept it as it was and stop killing yourself over the whys.

Step Two,Identify what feeling that experience actually left you with.Is it anger?jealousy?Grief?Sadness,despair?.Whatever emotion it leaves you with,you’ve got to identify it,for you to be able to actually work through it and grow through it.

Step Three,do not repress the feeling.This is actually the mistake most of us do,we try to push the negative feeling down our gut and just pretend that we are okay.When someone asks us how we are doing,we just jump straight to “I’m okay”.Yet deep down we dying and just craving for an out.So,don’t repress those negative feelings; they’ll eat you away slowly and in the end you’ll be more of a mess than you would have been if you had dealt with the situation here and then.

Step Four,Cry it out loud if you must, I wont laugh at you,I promise,infact I’ll smile because I know as those tears roll down your face,we calling in healing and that’s my absolute joy.Tears are some point a way of letting it out.Well,Our men,who might be going through stuff,yeah I know our societal standards have forced you to just push those feels away and never tear.But I think you could just easily lock yourself away and let it out then come out still a societal fit😄.

Step Five,Don’t rush to judgement rather pick out the lessons from it.I mean”Don’t ask why me?Rather ask;what is it or was it trying to teach me?”ofcourse depending on the time it happened to you and the duration you’ve held onto it.And again don’t jump into the desire of wanting to lynch the person who caused you the pain.Alot of people go through alot of stuff and alittle bit of understanding will go a long way into making our lives better.The person who caused you that mess could possibly be suffering way more than you are.But I’m not saying you compare your pain to theirs or belittle your pain…Nooo, basically what I’m saying is,understand that it happened to you and don’t jump into judging the reasons as to why it did and drowning yourself in self hate and pity.Understand this then;

Step Six, Forgive yourself and the person who caused you that pain.I know this is the hardest thing to do.But ask yourself this?Is my holding on going to do me more harm or good?Is it helping me grow to my full potential?Is it in moving in aim with my future goals or does it keep detering me and moving me way too many steps behind or is it helping me forge ahead?I know for sure the answers aren’t so good.So forgive for a better you.

Step Seven,Learn from it and from here on learn to take complete responsibility for your life.By this,I mean,do not always let the things that happen around you take a big toll on your life.Yeah,I know some things could be way beyond you,but as they happen don’t let them take you in too much.

Finally, I’ll say this,no matter what happened to you?how tough your life has been?how tough it is right now?You have the responsibility right now to change your direction and create the life of your dreams.And that starts with being in complete acceptance and at peace with all that has happened to you upto this far.

Bless you, as you get through your healing process 😊.

Inspiration:Kevin Otieno